Rate my writing por favor part 1?

Ohh! I had no idea it was a fantasy, so I was like "eh" while I was reading, thinking that it wasn't going anywhere interesting, but then there were black eyes, sharp teeth, and goo? Lol. Really intriguing. Just cut back on adverbs and do a run-through with a fine comb for grammar mistakes. Other than that, I thought it was unique. I'd read on. =) Soooo keep it up! =p