Tonight i want to cry.?

tonight my ex made the statement to my son that he still loved me , and his girlfriend told my son that my ex said that i was a good woman, yet he is with her and not me ... so I have cried for the last three hours , and the last three years.tonight i made a decision, my son is taking me out to bingo later this week and after bingo i am going to stop at a country bar for a drink or two. i want to meet some people,. i am a very good line dancer but im shy about dancing in front of people, but i hope to feel comfortable enough to try my luck. do any of you have any advice about how to get back in the swing of things after a 30 year marriage to a man that i still love? I still look pretty good for an old lady, but my confidence is shot . i worry what other people will think of me. I am very self conscoius. what can you do to build your self esteem, that has been trampled and totally non existant? I just want to feel like i am somebody.